Being Human Is 100% Fatal

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Not the TV show. Love “Being Human” actually – just talking about it makes me want to re-watch the American version or catch up those last seasons of the BBC version that I’ve missed.

But you know how that goes…TV is on in the background, often to the news, and not something I watch with any sort of real attention. One report did, however, make it through the inattention: processed meats will kill you.

Well, maybe not THAT dramatic…but you get the idea of how it was being hyped. My gut response to every “study” in the news is “show me the data”. After being through the dissertation process, even with a cheesy, semi-accredited correspondence school, I know how good and bad studies can be. It’s called a lit search. It will make you weep at the human condition – but that is another story. If nothing else, a dissertation will teach you to look at “studies” through jade-to-bile colored glasses.

Apparently this was meta-analysis…a study of studies. Makes my eyes cross just thinking about the amount of data they had to process. Sounds like in this case they did it right.  But the gentleman (I didn’t hear who he was) on the newscast (I don’t remember which one) made the best point you could make in these “new medical study” kinds of pop news reports…follow the money. The people saying processed meats contribute to cancer are a non-profit organization, well respected for decades – literally the global leader in health care – WHO, the World Health Organization. The people whining about the study are none other than the for profit meat industry.

Don’t get me wrong – I loves me some bacon. The chances of my being vegetarian are currently hovering somewhere between zero and none. Without having access to the full details of the study (although I bet there are out there on the interwebs for someone more motivated than I am to find)…the best I can do is gloat. Yes, you heard me…gloat. Neener neener neener. The whole thing fits with the basic premise of the vampire way of eating: Feed discriminately.

Whether they feast on humans or animals, vampires in contemporary film and literature have to be careful in how they eat so the humans don’t discover them. Humans have to be somewhat careful in what they eat so the ills of modern industrial food doesn’t discover them.  The Grim Reaper knows where you are already, so you might as well have some mindful fun along the way.

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Vampires don’t eat processed preserved blood. They drink natural and whole. Whatever their animal of choice, they can’t decimate populations or leave heaps of corpses in their wake. Neither can we.

Like any particularly delicious food, I plan to eat meat – but as unprocessed, natural and moderately as possible. One meatless day per week is one way to help find that moderation.

I liked the suggestion someone made in the amid all the noise about meat will kill you…eat better but eat less. Sure the good stuff costs more, but if you eat smaller portions and less often it can be a wash, breaking even as far as the food budget goes. Good excuse for some real smoked bacon instead of the industrial kind. It has to be out there somewhere.

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