Being Human Is 100% Fatal


Not the TV show. Love “Being Human” actually – just talking about it makes me want to re-watch the American version or catch up those last seasons of the BBC version that I’ve missed.

But you know how that goes…TV is on in the background, often to the news, and not something I watch with any sort of real attention. One report did, however, make it through the inattention: processed meats will kill you.

Well, maybe not THAT dramatic…but you get the idea of how it was being hyped. My gut response to every “study” in the news is “show me the data”. After being through the dissertation process, even with a cheesy, semi-accredited correspondence school, I know how good and bad studies can be. It’s called a lit search. It will make you weep at the human condition – but that is another story. If nothing else, a dissertation will teach you to look at “studies” through jade-to-bile colored glasses.

Apparently this was meta-analysis…a study of studies. Makes my eyes cross just thinking about the amount of data they had to process. Sounds like in this case they did it right.  But the gentleman (I didn’t hear who he was) on the newscast (I don’t remember which one) made the best point you could make in these “new medical study” kinds of pop news reports…follow the money. The people saying processed meats contribute to cancer are a non-profit organization, well respected for decades – literally the global leader in health care – WHO, the World Health Organization. The people whining about the study are none other than the for profit meat industry.

Don’t get me wrong – I loves me some bacon. The chances of my being vegetarian are currently hovering somewhere between zero and none. Without having access to the full details of the study (although I bet there are out there on the interwebs for someone more motivated than I am to find)…the best I can do is gloat. Yes, you heard me…gloat. Neener neener neener. The whole thing fits with the basic premise of the vampire way of eating: Feed discriminately.

Whether they feast on humans or animals, vampires in contemporary film and literature have to be careful in how they eat so the humans don’t discover them. Humans have to be somewhat careful in what they eat so the ills of modern industrial food doesn’t discover them.  The Grim Reaper knows where you are already, so you might as well have some mindful fun along the way.


Vampires don’t eat processed preserved blood. They drink natural and whole. Whatever their animal of choice, they can’t decimate populations or leave heaps of corpses in their wake. Neither can we.

Like any particularly delicious food, I plan to eat meat – but as unprocessed, natural and moderately as possible. One meatless day per week is one way to help find that moderation.

I liked the suggestion someone made in the amid all the noise about meat will kill you…eat better but eat less. Sure the good stuff costs more, but if you eat smaller portions and less often it can be a wash, breaking even as far as the food budget goes. Good excuse for some real smoked bacon instead of the industrial kind. It has to be out there somewhere.


Who says sparkling in the sunshine is pretty?


I tend to look at the world through yin yang colored glasses.

It’s August. The weather stinks. Nothing like sunny hot and humid to bring out my snarling monster side. You won’t catch me sparkling in the sunshine like a Stephanie Meyers vampire, that’s certain. I’ll be curled up in the shade. Wake me when it’s Autumn.

Not that napping in the shade is a bad thing. It’s the yin yang thing, really. Why should we try to keep up the frenetic spring and early summer activity because, as Ned Stark reminds us, winter is coming? Used to be surviving the winter was a lot of effort. It took more to chop wood and carry water, you know? Now winter is a time of decreased activity and abundant rich foods at the winter solstice holidays.  So we get while the getting is good as far as outdoor activity goes.


That’s why they invented indoor gyms and rec centers.

August is the greatest heat and light (yang) of the year, so the obvious response to that is to curl up in the shade and take a doggone nap (yin). Unless you are one of those sparkly vampires, but that’s another story.  A good nap might do you good, even if you are trying to cosplay your vampire lovin’ self into weight loss and fitness. Sleep counts.

Here is a legit mainstream medical source giving you permission for that siesta. Go on. You know you want to. It might keep us from eating everything that isn’t nailed down at the next late summer picnic.



Rock and Roll Vampire


Do my eyes look red?

Luckily it’s from sleep deprivation if they do, and not anything more sinister. Although if we stick with The Vampire Diet’s analogy between eating poorly and monster type vampirism, was on a full on feeding frenzy yesterday.

Hubster is playing drums for the local “alterna-wave” band Egomyth. They had a big show yesterday at Spirit in the Lawerenceville neighborhood of Pittsburgh opening for The Teen Age and Lazyeyes from Brooklyn…yep, that Brooklyn. Those guys are playing hardball with the big boys, and Lazyeyes even performed at SXSW this past spring I’m told (insert big fan-girl squee! here)

This was the first time I have been able to go to a show and see Egomyth perform live, which was a treat after jamming to the rehearsal tracks on the computer for months now. I may sing like a tone deaf walrus with laryngitis, but I loved howling out “sins of another” with the rest of the audience!

Long story short, we had a busy rock and roll kind of day yesterday subsisting on donuts and pizza. The good stuff too…Dunkin and Mineos respectively.

I felt young again. It was worth every calorie.

Ok, I know all you SWDs (skinny wench dietitians) are out there tut-tutting me for committing sins of sugar and then holding them up as a good, life-affirming thing. Go right ahead. I hope all the tongue cluckers sprain a glossal muscle…

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

A day like yesterday only proves, in my mind, the value of attitude, mood, mindset, and stress management in a balanced healthy lifestyle. The occasional bender might not be a good idea for people with drug or alcohol addictions…but I’m not convinced that food is addiction as some people insist. The whole junk food as “addiction” thing feels like an excuse to me…something to blame besides ourselves for what we shove in our face hole. Food is necessary. You can’t abstain from eating. WHAT we eat, for most of us in America is a CHOICE. I’m not convinced there is physical or psychological addiction, even with consumer-grabbing marketing engineered products. Mindlessness is a problem, yes. But that is a very different thing.

A rock and roll day like yesterday in the middle of a sea of attempting to eat well was an attention-getter and attention-shifter. A little liberation shows, by comparison, how satisfying “good” food is after you’ve been with it for a while. It can be a mental vacation that lets us get back to it the day after. You can’t eat rock and roll ALL the time and be physically healthy. In my personal private non-recommending opinion, you can’t be anal obsessive health freaky ALL the time and be mentally healthy either. Every now and then it pays to give in to authenticity rather than authority.

Rock on.


Monday – bean and cheese burritos (meatless) with salsa and guacamole

Tuesday – beenie weenie soup

Wednesday – Turkey Mac (“hamburger helper” – homestyle)

Thursday – Polynesian rice bowl

Friday – yakionigiri (fried rice cakes with fish filling)